


Why Jared lov the cronch

by Whattheheckkylinn



Category: Dear Evan Hanson - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:02:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23450647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whattheheckkylinn/pseuds/Whattheheckkylinn
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	Why Jared lov the cronch

Jared is at school talking to Connor.

Jared: I’m looking for new ways to get followers on my YouTube account! Wanna help me out?

Jared wiggles his eyebrows and shakes his shoulders. Connor lifts an eyebrow but sadly finds he can’t refuse Jared’s enthusiasm.

Connor: fuck you, Fine. Eat random stuff.  
Jared: That I can do! 

Jared slams his hands together and rubs them against each other. 

(Later that day at his house)

Jared *to his computer* : welcome all to my new YouTube account! Leave a thumbs up, click that ding dong symbol, and, fuck! You better enjoy!

He stops recording and gets to work. He grabs a multitude of items you put in water: soap, scrub, bath salts, and bath bombs. He starts recording again.

Jared: well, I’m doing water eating edition today! We’ve got bath salts, salty! soap, how clean, unlike me! scrub, gonna hate that one... uhhhh, what else? Oh yes! Bath bombs! 

Jared picked up the soap first.

Jared: I am not exited-

He took a bite of the soap and it tasted like death and bad dreams. He didn’t hold back. Jared chewed it, then spit it out in a bucket he laid out (just in case). 

Jared: that! Tasted like bad feelings and loneliness.... blegh! Only sparkles and rainbows here! That’s why I have skittles! TASTE THE RAINBOW!!

He fitted his glasses back on his nose correctly and grabbed the scrub.

Jared: here we go- fuckin’ love you guys!

He took a hand full, plopped it in his mouth, and almost threw up. He spit it in the bucket and grabbed the skittles on the table.

Jared: that was worse! The- BLEH- fuck?! 

He ate seven skittles. 

Jared *sarcasm*: great, I’m so excited! I get to now eat bath salt!

He takes a handful of bath salt and sticks it in his mouth. He chews it, and chews it, and he hates it, but he chews it.

Jared: I must say, the crunch is lovely! I give it a six outta ten! The taste, hmmmmm, point zero zero one, and that’s generous! Aight! Time for the grand finale!

He pulls up the most colorful bath bomb. It appears to be the scent Lush Cosmetics Goddess. Jared lifted it to his mouth and takes a bit of it. He doesn’t recoil, or gag, or spit it out, or... anything.

Jared: I-

He takes another bite of it and chews. He blinks and takes another bite.

Jared: it tastes like sparkles and rainbows and sunshine! And, motherfucker! It has the most lovely crunch!! No- crunch does not describe this! More like... cronch! YES!! CRONCH!

Jared takes another bite and chews. 

Jared: how delightfully surprising! I must say, you are,

Jared moves in closer to the bath bomb and whispered

Jared: tasty!


End file.
